Women with vaginismus can't have sex, right? blog
"They can't have sex anyway."
I am at home and the roller blind salesman sits across the table. He saw my book "How to overcome your vaginismus Change your sexual experience from painful to pleasant" on my table.
He -I call him Arthur in this blog- is the type of a nice young man with a good chat. He is really interested.
"No sex or no intercourse?" I ask. "That's sex, isn't it?" Arthur says.
That response always surprises me.
"So if you can't have intercourse, aren't you having sex?" I ask him. He's not the first to say this to me. "Isn't sex more than intercourse?" I ask. "Kind of like being together, intimacy, kissing, caressing, satisfying with hands and mouths." "Oh, you mean that, yes, of course that too, says Arthur.
"Fortunately," I think.
He soon says afterwards: "But I mean real sex."
Intercourse can be nice and delicious. Especially as part of everything you can experience in sexuality. But to say that intercourse is only real sex.
Everything you can do within your sexual life has value in my opinion. One is no better than the other. Investigate what you both like and use it creatively, I prefer that.
Arthur walked out that afternoon, leaving me with a quote for this blog. "Thank you for the nice conversation," he said. I smiled and thought: "I couldn't resist to give him something to think about, always on a mission."
Jacqueline van de Bilt, Alphen aan den Rijn The Netherlands (+31) (0)6-49088912 email@example.com