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The Sun UK asked my answers to 8 embarrassing female sex questionsHealth Women’s Health SEX-PLAINED
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We've got your embarrassing health questions covered so you don't have to leave your GPO red-faced
WHAT goes on down below can sometimes be confusing and you might be embarrassed to talk to others about your private parts. While sexual health has become more accessible over the last few years, many of us are still left red-faced by the topic.
I have no sex drive, is there something wrong with me?
Jacqueline Van de Bilt, mental health care counsellor and author of How to overcome your vaginismus said there is nothing wrong with you - and having no sex drive is actually more common than you might think.
Speaking to The Sun she said: "Stress is one of the biggest causes of reduced sex drive, for both women and men, and often your sex drive will return when the stress subsides. "We all go through dry spells and it is perfectly normal. If this is not the case, you might need to use your imagination. "Start to think about what you like sexually and what turns you on - what you like, love and enjoy about sex – try to imagine this and imagine how it would make you feel. "And if you have a partner, how would you feel in connection with them? Try talking to your partner about what you want – and you can often find that just having a conversation about sex is sometimes enough to bring your sex drive back."
Can I get pregnant from a loo seat?
It might have you scared to sit down, but in actual fact, you cannot get pregnant from a toilet seat.
Jacqueline explained: "Imagine that sperm is still on the toilet seat and you sit on that seat. Then your buttocks sit on that sperm and it does not reach your vaginal opening.
"You will have to sit on a toilet seat very strangely to get the sperm to your vaginal opening. Even if that was possible, the sperm cells in semen on the toilet seat or on your legs would not live long enough to make it up the vaginal canal.
"So no, you definitely cannot get pregnant from sperm on toilet seat."
I struggle to get aroused, is that normal?
This again, is a very normal thing to experience and Jaqueline said the key to this is taking your time.
She said you really need to think about what excites you - but adds that mental stimulation is just as important as physical stimulation - especially for women.
"Often we think more than feel. Don't be ashamed to ask your partner for what you want. – often talking about is enough to get you aroused."
Sex hurts is that ok?
Sex that is painful in a way that you don't like isn't ok.
While some people enjoy a little bit of pain during sex, everyone has their kinks, the consequences of continuing despite the pain can have bad very bad consequences – both physically and emotionally.
Jacqueline explained: "A vicious circle can develop, making the pain worse and the desire for intimacy and sex less and less. Stop when it is painful."
Ask yourself the following questions
She added: "If you answered yes to this last question then you may have a condition called vaginismus.
"Vaginismus is a condition involving a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles. It can make it painful, difficult, or impossible to have sexual intercourse, to undergo a gynecological exam, and even to insert a tampon.
"It is unclear how many women suffer from the condition, but studies show that almost one in 10 UK women aged between 16 and 74 have experienced pain during sex."
WHAT goes on down below can sometimes be confusing and you might be embarrassed to talk to others about your private parts. While sexual health has become more accessible over the last few years, many of us are still left red-faced by the topic.
I have no sex drive, is there something wrong with me?
Jacqueline Van de Bilt, mental health care counsellor and author of How to overcome your vaginismus said there is nothing wrong with you - and having no sex drive is actually more common than you might think.
Speaking to The Sun she said: "Stress is one of the biggest causes of reduced sex drive, for both women and men, and often your sex drive will return when the stress subsides. "We all go through dry spells and it is perfectly normal. If this is not the case, you might need to use your imagination. "Start to think about what you like sexually and what turns you on - what you like, love and enjoy about sex – try to imagine this and imagine how it would make you feel. "And if you have a partner, how would you feel in connection with them? Try talking to your partner about what you want – and you can often find that just having a conversation about sex is sometimes enough to bring your sex drive back."
Can I get pregnant from a loo seat?
It might have you scared to sit down, but in actual fact, you cannot get pregnant from a toilet seat.
Jacqueline explained: "Imagine that sperm is still on the toilet seat and you sit on that seat. Then your buttocks sit on that sperm and it does not reach your vaginal opening.
"You will have to sit on a toilet seat very strangely to get the sperm to your vaginal opening. Even if that was possible, the sperm cells in semen on the toilet seat or on your legs would not live long enough to make it up the vaginal canal.
"So no, you definitely cannot get pregnant from sperm on toilet seat."
I struggle to get aroused, is that normal?
This again, is a very normal thing to experience and Jaqueline said the key to this is taking your time.
She said you really need to think about what excites you - but adds that mental stimulation is just as important as physical stimulation - especially for women.
"Often we think more than feel. Don't be ashamed to ask your partner for what you want. – often talking about is enough to get you aroused."
Sex hurts is that ok?
Sex that is painful in a way that you don't like isn't ok.
While some people enjoy a little bit of pain during sex, everyone has their kinks, the consequences of continuing despite the pain can have bad very bad consequences – both physically and emotionally.
Jacqueline explained: "A vicious circle can develop, making the pain worse and the desire for intimacy and sex less and less. Stop when it is painful."
Ask yourself the following questions
- Are you excited and moist enough?
- Are there wounds around your vaginal opening?
- Is your partner trying to have sex too soon?
- Do you become drier during intercourse, making it uncomfortable or painful?
- Do you feel that your finger or penis is pushing against something and can't go any further?
She added: "If you answered yes to this last question then you may have a condition called vaginismus.
"Vaginismus is a condition involving a muscle spasm in the pelvic floor muscles. It can make it painful, difficult, or impossible to have sexual intercourse, to undergo a gynecological exam, and even to insert a tampon.
"It is unclear how many women suffer from the condition, but studies show that almost one in 10 UK women aged between 16 and 74 have experienced pain during sex."
