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Responses to the book "How to overcome your vaginismus"Change your sexual experience from painful to pleasantI am so thrilled with all the positive responses I got from women with, as well as without vaginismus, and from professionals, regarding my book. You can read them hear below.
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Reviews of my book by women with vaginismus and experts
I think you did a great job of going really step by step for women who have this condition, and giving them lots of loving opportunities to explore their thoughts and relationships to partners and selves. You had so many great examples with ways of talking or thinking about it.
Leslie US
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"Hello Jacqueline. The book is so helpful! Mentally, as well as physically, I really like the exercises described in the book. I also found it very helpful to read other women's experiences. I'm making progress, for a big part thanks to your book! Thank you so much for this.
Kind regards,"
Ester
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"I am so glad that I bought your book, though I haven't finished it yet. The approach (from you as an experience expert) is so different (better) than those of the other counsellors I've been to. I feel like you understand me so much better. I really like the many examples and the questions in between. I want to finish the book first, and then I will contact you to make an appointment."
Ellen
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"The book has helped me in many ways. Especially the part about getting comfortable with your body. I've always had problems inserting a tampon, but since I have become more familiar with my own body, this is going really well. A real eye-opener."
N.
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"The book is very relatable. I recognize many stories from other women. Because of our desire to have children, I thought: it really has to work this time. But in the book, I also read that there are many other ways to get pregnant. This took some of the pressure off, and now I'm feeling much more relaxed when I try out the exercises, which is going really well so far."
Noor
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"While reading the book, I noticed Jacqueline really knows what she's talking about. I became very curious, and gained enough confidence to try out the tips and the practical exercises."
Noa, 43 yrs old
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A while back, I put my book 'How to overcome your vaginismus' up for a review, through GezondTotaal. I didn't really expect a response, but I've learned that openness about vaginismus is still very rare. That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Esther reacted so enthusiastically. Read her review:
“Gained more insight
I've gained so much more insights because of Jacqueline's book. I never really knew what my problem was, until - because of my husband - I saw this book on the GezondTotaal Facebook page. My husband pointed out that I could win this book. I reacted immediately, and how fun it was to actually be the winner! And it was so thoughtful of her to include a personal note, addressed to me.
Easy to read
The book is very easy and comfortable to read. Very open, short, and to the point. It contains many examples, I don't recognize all of them, of course, but it gives a very clear image of what vaginismus can mean, and what it's like for women who have to deal with it.
Open and sincere
It's really great that Jacqueline is so open and sincere about her own vaginismus. Her commitment also shows in an e-mail I received from her, with a tip about a documentary about vaginismus. If I had any questions, she answered them for me. All of this makes it so pleasant to read, especially knowing that you're not the only one with this problem, and that there are people ready to help you.
The book as a guide
All in all, it was a real eye-opener that this is a very common problem. Much more common than I ever realized. I now dare to talk about it more with my husband. I use the tips and exercises in the book to better explain my vaginismus. Though it's still a bit too soon to be able to talk about it with my friends. It's not exactly an easy subject to talk about. Though Jacqueline is doing a great job in making it all much more lighthearted.
Involved my husband
Because of the way the book is designed, I advised my husband to read it as well. And he did. He thought it was really easy to read, and finished it in one read..... I didn't, but then again, I am dyslexic, which makes it harder for me, and also because it's more personal for me.
All in all, really happy with all the insights and with "overcoming" my reluctance."
Esther
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Andrea Bijen of WWW.LEVENMETVAGINISME.NL has written the following review in the newsletter from March 8, 2016:
"How to overcome your vaginismus...." is the title of the book Jacqueline van de Bilt recently published. A remarkably useful, practical, and clearly written book! Not just for women with vaginismus, but also for women who regularly experience pain during sex. Basically, for everyone who is sexually active, and is sometimes in doubt and in need of some supporting questions and experiences. Step by step, and vibrantly written, Jacqueline guides you through all the aspects of vaginismus. She shares with you general information, like testimonials, experiences from her practice, as well as her own experiences. This is being combined with lots of guidelines and food for thought!"
Andrea Bijen, Platform for Vaginismus online
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Leslie US
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"Hello Jacqueline. The book is so helpful! Mentally, as well as physically, I really like the exercises described in the book. I also found it very helpful to read other women's experiences. I'm making progress, for a big part thanks to your book! Thank you so much for this.
Kind regards,"
Ester
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"I am so glad that I bought your book, though I haven't finished it yet. The approach (from you as an experience expert) is so different (better) than those of the other counsellors I've been to. I feel like you understand me so much better. I really like the many examples and the questions in between. I want to finish the book first, and then I will contact you to make an appointment."
Ellen
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"The book has helped me in many ways. Especially the part about getting comfortable with your body. I've always had problems inserting a tampon, but since I have become more familiar with my own body, this is going really well. A real eye-opener."
N.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"The book is very relatable. I recognize many stories from other women. Because of our desire to have children, I thought: it really has to work this time. But in the book, I also read that there are many other ways to get pregnant. This took some of the pressure off, and now I'm feeling much more relaxed when I try out the exercises, which is going really well so far."
Noor
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"While reading the book, I noticed Jacqueline really knows what she's talking about. I became very curious, and gained enough confidence to try out the tips and the practical exercises."
Noa, 43 yrs old
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A while back, I put my book 'How to overcome your vaginismus' up for a review, through GezondTotaal. I didn't really expect a response, but I've learned that openness about vaginismus is still very rare. That's why I was pleasantly surprised when Esther reacted so enthusiastically. Read her review:
“Gained more insight
I've gained so much more insights because of Jacqueline's book. I never really knew what my problem was, until - because of my husband - I saw this book on the GezondTotaal Facebook page. My husband pointed out that I could win this book. I reacted immediately, and how fun it was to actually be the winner! And it was so thoughtful of her to include a personal note, addressed to me.
Easy to read
The book is very easy and comfortable to read. Very open, short, and to the point. It contains many examples, I don't recognize all of them, of course, but it gives a very clear image of what vaginismus can mean, and what it's like for women who have to deal with it.
Open and sincere
It's really great that Jacqueline is so open and sincere about her own vaginismus. Her commitment also shows in an e-mail I received from her, with a tip about a documentary about vaginismus. If I had any questions, she answered them for me. All of this makes it so pleasant to read, especially knowing that you're not the only one with this problem, and that there are people ready to help you.
The book as a guide
All in all, it was a real eye-opener that this is a very common problem. Much more common than I ever realized. I now dare to talk about it more with my husband. I use the tips and exercises in the book to better explain my vaginismus. Though it's still a bit too soon to be able to talk about it with my friends. It's not exactly an easy subject to talk about. Though Jacqueline is doing a great job in making it all much more lighthearted.
Involved my husband
Because of the way the book is designed, I advised my husband to read it as well. And he did. He thought it was really easy to read, and finished it in one read..... I didn't, but then again, I am dyslexic, which makes it harder for me, and also because it's more personal for me.
All in all, really happy with all the insights and with "overcoming" my reluctance."
Esther
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Andrea Bijen of WWW.LEVENMETVAGINISME.NL has written the following review in the newsletter from March 8, 2016:
"How to overcome your vaginismus...." is the title of the book Jacqueline van de Bilt recently published. A remarkably useful, practical, and clearly written book! Not just for women with vaginismus, but also for women who regularly experience pain during sex. Basically, for everyone who is sexually active, and is sometimes in doubt and in need of some supporting questions and experiences. Step by step, and vibrantly written, Jacqueline guides you through all the aspects of vaginismus. She shares with you general information, like testimonials, experiences from her practice, as well as her own experiences. This is being combined with lots of guidelines and food for thought!"
Andrea Bijen, Platform for Vaginismus online
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Reviews professionals
"Jacqueline van de Bilt shows something extraordinary with this book. Not only is she an experience expert, but she's also the professional rising above that. She points out that with vaginismus, body and mind go together, and that looking for a cause is often not that relevant. This makes it a practical book, above all. In a clear way, without being didactic, she encourages women to come to a solution, step by step."
Peter Leusink, physician, sexologist
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Review in journal for sexology, by sexologist Peter Leusink.
"What stands out, are the many detailed, practical tips. She knows the body of the (vaginistic) woman well, and anticipates on the pitfalls of women with vaginismus. She's not going for a quick fix. She advises readers to first read the part about what you don't know (yet)...." Read more
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Sexologist Dr. Rik van Lunsen wrote to me in an e-mail: "I couldn't agree more with what my colleague Peter Heusink said about your book in the journal for sexology, and I strongly recommend it to women with vaginistic problems."
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Ellen Laan, professor in sexology, emailed me the following review on my book:
"Thank you so much for the highly useful book you sent me. It is very important that women know that, with a step-by-step treatment, it is possible for them to (re-) gain more confidence in their own bodies, in order to become lustful and aroused (again), and to be able to experience painless penetration. It's not about stretching or expanding - there is no anatomical problem - but about allowing. And in order to achieve that, it takes safety and strength from vulnerability. I will recommend your book to my patients with vaginismus. My compliments!
Kind regards,"
Ellen, professor in sexology
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"The book is easy to read, Jacqueline's words are honest and clear. This makes the book practical and very useful for women with vaginismus, but for counsellors dealing with these women as well. As an obstetrician, I benefit greatly from openness, and I especially appreciate it when women are honest to me about their problems. That way, we can come up with a plan together, so that they are able to make their pregnancy and delivery into a wonderful experience."
Marina van Kouwenberg, obstetrician
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"The pelvic floor is the soul of your body: every emotion is reflected by it. As soon as you are aware of this connection, the tips in this book will help you further!"
Mw A.A.M. Bernink, pelvic physiotherapist, M.S.P.T.
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"The author wrote this book for women with vaginismus (not being able to insert anything into the vagina), and pain with sex. She is an experience expert, and has her own practice (www.sunniva.nl) for guiding women with vaginismus and pain with sex. This publication includes a self-help step-by-step plan. Each step is explained and supported by experiences from the author, and from the women she has guided. With tips, techniques, and exercises. Particularly focused on overcoming shame, gaining medical knowledge, relaxation, and training the pelvic floor muscles. Tools are also being discussed, as well as ways of becoming pregnant without having intercourse. Sexologists are pleased with the book, because many myths and misunderstandings exist around this subject. Professionals don't always have a rapid solution either. With a prologue from sexologist Peter Leusink. Publishing company Van Brug publishes books about health (specialization: unwanted childlessness), management, and business."
Iris Stekelenburg-van Halem
Read more about coaching experiences with Jacqueline.
