Having intercourse despite the pain? Blog

Continue having intercourse when you are in pain? 

Stories about painful intercourse, I hear them everywhere
In my coaching practice for vaginismus and pain during sex, I often hear a lot of sad stories about not being able to have enjoyable intercourse. But not only in my practice, at parties, birthdays, and meetings, women share their experiences with painful intercourse, as soon as they hear about my job. 
"It does hurt, but it passes quickly." Or "I can't just stop having intercourse altogether, now that it suddenly has started to hurt?" or "Lately it's more difficult for me to get aroused, penetration is still possible, but I don't enjoy it as much anymore." "I continued to have intercourse, even though the skin around the vagina felt sore."
"Six weeks after given birth we had intercourse. The obstetrician had told us it was possible again. But it was very painful. We kept trying, but it kept hurting." 
 
No, don't do it!!!
Especially at those moments, I don't always know what they expect of me. What I can and cannot say. After all, these women didn't come to me for my expertise. But everything inside me screams: "No, don't do it!!!" 

Do these women have vaginismus or pain during intercourse?
At certain times, I do feel free to ask some questions and give certain information. The funny thing is, before our conversation, these women hadn't given it much thought, that they were having painful intercourse. Of course, they don't like it, but they still continue to have intercourse. They often don't relate to the target group I work with. Even though they are part of this group.
 
Consequences of continuing intercourse despite the pain
Sometimes, using an example, I try to explain the vicious circle of what happens to the skin around the vagina when you keep having intercourse.
I see the women recognizing themselves in the process of often having more and more pain or cramping. .
I also ask them the following question: "Why do you continue when you are in such pain?" Then, they look at me, and say: "Yeah.. it is kind of silly, isn't it?" They haven't even thought about it a lot of the time. 
I have. I see and hear about the consequences almost on a daily basis.  
 
Do these women also have vaginismus?
Whether these women have vaginismus or not? Technically speaking, many of these women are able to have intercourse, but have always experienced pain. Or they were able to enjoy intercourse in the past, but not anymore. Fact is that penetration is painful for them. This often reinforces the cramping and the pain, and also the emotional part. 

What to do?
Do you want to find out what caused it? When it started? When the pain is worse, and when less? What you need to enjoy intercourse? 
In my book "How to overcome your vaginismus - Change your sexual experience from painful to pleasant", I give you a lot of information and tips that can help you. If you would like to have my personal advice, feel free to make an appointment.

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