Is intercourse the most important part of sex? Is sex without intercourse complete for you?
"You make intercourse very important." I hear this sometimes. "There is more than just intercourse. The being together, the intimacy, the caressing and the other forms of mutual gratification you can do. That's what it's all about, after all," he says. I always stop for a moment ...... Am I making intercourse too important? Do women with vaginismus and pain during sex make intercourse too important? What are we actually talking about. Maybe you have sex once or twice a week (which is often, most don’t do it that often). During that sex, the intercourse is part of the whole. (At least I hope so for you.) How long do you have intercourse? On average 10 minutes? (I often hear shorter.) So for 10 or 20 minutes a week these women cannot do something that many others can. How bad is this really? But what if you don't have a choice? That intercourse is not possible or too painful. Are these women only confronted with it for 20 minutes a week? No, for these women it's not just about not being able to do something, which they might want to do for 20 minutes a week. It's about the consequences of not being able to have intercourse. For many of them, this affects their lives much more. And not just their sex life. Don't underestimate the deep emotional pain of the problem of vaginismus and pain during intercourse. Many of these women feel very uncomfortable about this. They are ashamed. They sometimes don’t dare to get into a relationship due to fear of rejection. Or they postpone plans for the future. They don’t want to live together, get married or fulfill their desire to have children before this problem has been solved. So no, if you can have intercourse it may not be that important to you. But if you can't, or if it's painful, it can affect your whole life in very different ways.