Late defloration, me? Blog

Never stopped to think that I lost my virginity late.

A while ago Trudy contacted me for an appointment. She had read the article in the “Libelle” an woman’s magazine, about my and my late deflowering. Trudy was 55 and still a virgin. She thought I could help her.

"Do you have vaginismus or pain during intercourse?" I asked.
"I don't know," said Trudy.
"I've never had sex with a man. I kissed once when I was young. That's all."

I was pleasantly surprised when the Libelle journalist contacted me. My first reaction was:
"Yes, the Libelle, the best-read women's magazine in the Netherlands, wants an article about my coaching woman with vaginismus."
This has been a wish of mine for a long time. Through such an article I could give hope and tips to a lot of women. To bring my mission a little closer.

​The conversation with the journalist was very different.

"I want to write an article about your late deflowering," said the journalist.
"Late defloration?" I said amazed.
Yeah, right, you had vaginismus, didn't you lose your virginity until later?"
Yes, I thought, but to be honest, I had never thought about this before.

After I hung up the phone I realized that the best thing was that I hadn't thought about this before. Indeed, I did not have intercourse for the first time until much later than most woman. But my sex life started much earlier. Maybe that's why I haven't thought about it before.

I spoke to Trudy on a rainy day in May.
I was the first person she spoke to about her grief.
A beautiful woman.
Successful in her field.
Beautiful owner-occupied home.
Good friends.
But because of her career, she didn't get to a relationship sooner and later became too afraid of it, she told me.
What would a man thing about her because she was still completely inexperienced and a virgin.

What was the reason she came now, I asked her.
She had fallen in love with a man.
She liked him so much.
She wanted to be less afraid.
Get more knowledge about what to expect in terms of sex.

I was glad I had agreed to talk to the journalist about my late deflowering.

After Trudy, a few more women followed with the same request for help.
It's great to offer these women a place where they feel so safe that they dare to share.
So nice to see how these women come out with a little more confidence when it comes to their contact with men.
Grateful that I was able to contribute.