When I was about 22, I walked up the stairs to the room, where meetings were held for women with vaginismus. Led by a sexologist. We sat in a circle. We were all silent. I don't think any of us wanted to be here. They probably heard the same story as I did. “They no longer had individual consults. This was the way they offered. Really, it was going to help.”
Well, I had yet to see that.
Of course I wasn't going to talk to other women about my problem. I was very embarrassed. It was quite a lot that I had gone to the sexologist.
We received explanations on various topics. None of the women was talkative during the meetings. We briefly answered the questions that were asked.
Have I learned a lot?
I was surprised. About what these women looked like. What study they followed or job they had. This did not fit the picture I had made unconsciously of a woman with vaginismus. At that time I felt not a real normal complete woman. But those woman looked like normal real woman. Maybe I was to.
An important step. Yes, the meetings had helped me. Not that I could have intercourse afterwards. But my image of myself had changed a bit.
Who would have ever thought that I, the woman who was sitting there so anxiously and wanted to share absolutely nothing personally, would be so open in the media on this vulnerable topic and her own intimate experience of overcoming vaginismus.
Jacqueline van de Bilt, Alphen aan den Rijn The Netherlands (+31) (0)6-49088912 firstname.lastname@example.org