"You won't get there with softness! Calling myself to order, that helps."
Marjan doesn't believe in my approach to be gently and soft to yourself. When I ask if she is achieving anything with her strictness, she looks at me quizzically.
• How often have you actually been disappointed in yourself? • How often does your plan fail? • Does strictness help you feel better, or does the opposite happen?
We do our best. Generally, we don't get up in the morning thinking, "I'm going to make a mess today or I'm going to do everything so I can fail today."
So why the strictness, sometimes so bad that you put yourself down like that? Life is quite strange. Sometimes something works and sometimes it doesn't. There is almost always a good reason why you do or do not do something. Fear is one of them. How human. Everyone has it.
Marjan discovers that gradually approaching herself a bit softer stimulates her to take action. She expects less of herself and therefore dares to try more. She is happier with the steps she takes. To her surprise, the steps also work.
• How hard are you with yourself? • What do you expect to do and are able to do? • What could a gentler approach to yourself affect you and your actions?
Jacqueline van de Bilt, Alphen aan den Rijn The Netherlands (+31) (0)6-49088912 firstname.lastname@example.org