40, 60, 80, 95 perhaps 100%, the Upper ladies of vanUpper at home and saleswoman of concept store vanen Tutti Passi, during the training, asked my question: "How often does vaginismus and pain occur in the community?" The number of women with vaginismus they speak to is also large.
Recent studies in the Netherlands have shown that about 1 in 10 women occasionally, regularly or always have pain in the community. Under 25, this is 1 in 2. About 1 in 20 women have vaginismus.
These figures are already high.
But how is it possible that nearly 100 Upper ladies who give an Upper at home party to an average of 10 women about 1, 2 or 3 times a week, indicate much higher numbers?
The saleswomen also regularly speak to women in the shops with these problems.
On the Upper at home and in the shops, there are women of all ages, with very different backgrounds, education and jobs. Actually you will find the cross section of all women.
I'm guessing, I'm sure, that not everyone recognizes themselves in the words vaginismus or pain during sex.
Only when I give some examples do more women recognize themselves in it. Then I hear:
“Yes, every now and then in my cycle I am naturally drier. Arousal and getting moist take longer, which is why I actually let my husband into my vagina too quickly. It feels meager after that. ”
“Yes, I am excited and moist, but when the penis keeps moving in me a bit longer it sometimes dries up suddenly. Then it doesn't feel nice anymore. But I feel that my husband is almost cumming, so I just allow it. After that it is sensitive or painful for days at the opening of the vagina. ”
“Yes, we don't take that much time for foreplay anymore, because we are so busy. I used to like sex and community. Now it feels more like an obligation. ”
“Yes, community is just part of it. "Just bite through," my mother used to say.
The Upper ladies said that it is almost always talked about during the Upper at home. And that after ordering the products, which takes place separately from the group, many stories are told about this subject and questions are asked. That this is why they are so happy with this training.
The saleswomen of the concept store Tutti Passi regularly get women with questions about this problem. The shops are female-friendly and sell very nice, good quality products. The atmosphere, the decoration of the shops and the accessibility of the salesmen ensures that they too receive many questions about this subject. They listen well, give recognition and understanding. They also discuss with the women the options for solving the problem. Or at least what these women need to take a small first step.
I wonder now.
How many women would really have occasional, regular, or always unpleasant or painful intercourse?
How many women would really have vaginismus?
How much difference would it make for these women if the topic were discussed more openly?
What difference would more knowledge about what your body needs and likes provide?
What difference would it make for these women if they took seriously their discomfort or pain in the community? When they recognize their limit and take action on it? When would they deal with themselves and their bodies with much more softness and compassion?
Yeah, I know how much of a difference this will make to these, all women in fact. Would they and their partners discover how to enjoy your community as part of a great sex life?
Jacqueline van de Bilt, Alphen aan den Rijn The Netherlands (+31) (0)6-49088912 email@example.com